Monday, April 16, 2012

25 Thoughts Today

Because a list is all I can manage.

  1. I was complaining to my husband tonight that with all my years of yoga, I still somehow ended up with bum knees, a jacked-up shoulder, and -most recently- a bad lower back! WTF?
  2. I picked up my 3 year old 2 days after turning 36 and threw my back out. Niiiiiiiice. That will have been 3 weeks ago this Friday. Mother Effer!
  3. It's actually almost better, I think, though. Which I owe mostly to yoga. But I still wish it had prevented the injury rather than help heal it!
  4. Spring Break: my husband was off a week. I had kids all 5 days. I had a week off; he was back at work. Blah! I like our vacations to align, please, universe! For the next time, then.
  5. Today was the first day all 4 kids were back together after the week off.
  6. It. Was Seriously. Adorable.
  7. It was in the high 70s and we spent all day outside together.
  8. I feel as if I'm finally finding the spot where I'm figuring out exactly how to DO this job REALLY well with the kids. And that makes me love it more and more.
  9. Maria Montessori: how do I know so little about her when I've been studying early childhood ed for so long? I don't know, but a wonderful old friend of mine has been sending me info, and I love it! I want to know more, more, more!!!
  10. That same dear friend might be moving to Austin, TX. My father-in-law lives in San Antonio. I so want to sit with her and talk about Montessori for hours!!!
  11. When I first started thinking about homeschooling, I felt it was really what I had to do for my kids. I hated all the other options, more than I loved homeschooling.
  12. But I seem to have turned a corner, where now I'm really looking forward to it for myself!
  13. I have a goal, for my professional self.
  14. I want to master teaching.
  15. By teaching, I mean that I want to master the art of facilitating people to be in flow.
  16. I haven't figured out yet how to get anyone to pay me for this pursuit, but that will come in time, I guess!
  17. Actually, speaking of flow and money, I think I have a blockage somewhere.
  18. It's in my mind, and here's what it says: how much is the minimum I need to make to survive and do what I want to do?
  19. And so I only ever make the minimum I need to survive and do what I want to do. Because that's the question I ask.
  20. I think somewhere inside me, I believe that I am buying my freedom.
  21. With all the money I'm not earning, I am buying those hours back to do what I wish with them. The freedom to exist without the structures, demands, the shape of lucrative employment.
  22. Do I believe there can be both money and freedom?
  23. That's a good question. 
  24. I'd like to say yes. To embrace abundance of money the way I embrace abundance of choices, of ideas, of possibilities, of ways to be right, and ways to be beautiful.
  25. But I don't know if I'm there yet.

Monday, April 9, 2012

Updated: Sunday Morning with the Toddler and William Carlos Williams

so many possibilities

in wet morning

against bright white

under a dripping