My son got a Frog and Toad book from my mom for Christmas. In one of the stories, Frog keeps walking around corners, looking for Spring. I think I've been making the same mistake as Frog, assuming I'll just stumble across it each time I turn a corner.
I can't help but point out, though: he does find it in the end.
* * *
I started a new job on Monday; I'll be teaching three evenings a week: yoga or pilates. This will make me busier than I already am, which is not necessarily a good thing (an exercise class at the end of a ten hour day! i feel tired just thinking about it!), but it's doing something I love, which has a higher net gain, so we're going for it. Two nights a week I'll have the option of bringing the kids to the brand-new childcare, so my husband will get some time to himself, which I know he needs, too.
We're slowly figuring out what work-life balance looks like in our home. I keep hoping Spring is right around the corner with that question, but I think it may be a bit of a walk, yet, before we stumble into the sweet spot.
* * *
The housekeeper has been coming weekly. Here's the difference:
When I'm walking through the house, picking up all the millions of tiny toys that four kids under four have trailed in their wake as they wander to and fro for ten hours a day, and returning them to their rightful baskets and bins, and noticing all the curious crumbs and baby dustbunnies who seem so intent on growing up fast and then reproducing as rabbits are wont to do, here's what I think:
Should I text Nichole?
And then I think:
Yes, yes I should.
Ooh, these toys look so cute arranged here! Let me pull these puzzles up front and see how the kids like them this week!
What I DON'T think anymore is this:
OMG, these floors desperately need to be cleaned. When can I do it? Will I have the ENERGY to do it at 10pm tonight? Can I get away with sweeping? WHAT is that sticky stuff? HOW did I miss it when I raced through with a clorox wipe after lunch? But the baby was sobbing and hanging on my leg, so tired she needed to be put down for nap right away, and I had three other sets of hands to wash, and three highchair trays, and OH MY GOD, WHEN am I going to get these floors done? Can I squeeze it in at naptime? But the kitchen is next to the baby's room and the bathroom is next to the toddler's room, and neither has been sleeping well lately, so filling and emptying the mop bucket is likely to wake them up, and nap is the only time I have alone with my three year old, and we like to hang out together in the quiet (which also makes it more likely the others will sleep). Should I give that up for the floors? DO I HAVE TO START GETTING UP AT DAWN TO CLEAN THE FLOORS, GOOD GOD, HOW WILL I EVER DO IT? I CAN'T KEEP UP! I CAN'T KEEP UP! I CAN'T KEEP UP!
From a mental health perspective, I think we can all agree, the first is preferable.
* * *
We've had the easiest winter I remember in a long time. I can jog, outside, at least once a week. Snow falls occasionally, but it doesn't stick. I'm not having my usual argument with myself about how I really ought to take up skiing. Today it's nearly 50 degrees. I think I'm going to try and fit a jog in.
It's not as simple as a jog on a Wednesday afternoon. I want to write it like it is, probably because I wish it was that simple. And in some moments, it is.
It's still just February. I'll be working evenings AND I've agreed to take one of the boys full-time for the next two months. I also signed my three-year old up for a twice-a-week afternoon preschool (he went from complaining about not wanting to go to preschool when he turned four to suggesting that he attend a preschool for threes, starting now! I made a couple calls and found an opening at what appears to be a wonderful little place for little people! He starts next week.), and I'll have to transport him, with two other kids, during what should be their naptime. My car needs new tires. My husband's job continues to be incredibly demanding. We still need to eat those pesky three squares every day. Any number of things can -and will- overwhelm me in the next few weeks.
But right now, in this particular moment?
It feels like Spring is just around the corner.
I'll take it.
I can't help but point out, though: he does find it in the end.
* * *
I started a new job on Monday; I'll be teaching three evenings a week: yoga or pilates. This will make me busier than I already am, which is not necessarily a good thing (an exercise class at the end of a ten hour day! i feel tired just thinking about it!), but it's doing something I love, which has a higher net gain, so we're going for it. Two nights a week I'll have the option of bringing the kids to the brand-new childcare, so my husband will get some time to himself, which I know he needs, too.
We're slowly figuring out what work-life balance looks like in our home. I keep hoping Spring is right around the corner with that question, but I think it may be a bit of a walk, yet, before we stumble into the sweet spot.
* * *
The housekeeper has been coming weekly. Here's the difference:
When I'm walking through the house, picking up all the millions of tiny toys that four kids under four have trailed in their wake as they wander to and fro for ten hours a day, and returning them to their rightful baskets and bins, and noticing all the curious crumbs and baby dustbunnies who seem so intent on growing up fast and then reproducing as rabbits are wont to do, here's what I think:
Should I text Nichole?
And then I think:
Yes, yes I should.
Ooh, these toys look so cute arranged here! Let me pull these puzzles up front and see how the kids like them this week!
What I DON'T think anymore is this:
OMG, these floors desperately need to be cleaned. When can I do it? Will I have the ENERGY to do it at 10pm tonight? Can I get away with sweeping? WHAT is that sticky stuff? HOW did I miss it when I raced through with a clorox wipe after lunch? But the baby was sobbing and hanging on my leg, so tired she needed to be put down for nap right away, and I had three other sets of hands to wash, and three highchair trays, and OH MY GOD, WHEN am I going to get these floors done? Can I squeeze it in at naptime? But the kitchen is next to the baby's room and the bathroom is next to the toddler's room, and neither has been sleeping well lately, so filling and emptying the mop bucket is likely to wake them up, and nap is the only time I have alone with my three year old, and we like to hang out together in the quiet (which also makes it more likely the others will sleep). Should I give that up for the floors? DO I HAVE TO START GETTING UP AT DAWN TO CLEAN THE FLOORS, GOOD GOD, HOW WILL I EVER DO IT? I CAN'T KEEP UP! I CAN'T KEEP UP! I CAN'T KEEP UP!
From a mental health perspective, I think we can all agree, the first is preferable.
* * *
We've had the easiest winter I remember in a long time. I can jog, outside, at least once a week. Snow falls occasionally, but it doesn't stick. I'm not having my usual argument with myself about how I really ought to take up skiing. Today it's nearly 50 degrees. I think I'm going to try and fit a jog in.
It's not as simple as a jog on a Wednesday afternoon. I want to write it like it is, probably because I wish it was that simple. And in some moments, it is.
It's still just February. I'll be working evenings AND I've agreed to take one of the boys full-time for the next two months. I also signed my three-year old up for a twice-a-week afternoon preschool (he went from complaining about not wanting to go to preschool when he turned four to suggesting that he attend a preschool for threes, starting now! I made a couple calls and found an opening at what appears to be a wonderful little place for little people! He starts next week.), and I'll have to transport him, with two other kids, during what should be their naptime. My car needs new tires. My husband's job continues to be incredibly demanding. We still need to eat those pesky three squares every day. Any number of things can -and will- overwhelm me in the next few weeks.
But right now, in this particular moment?
It feels like Spring is just around the corner.
I'll take it.
I love that book! I think you're right to accept moments of simplicity as they come, too, because the thing about spring is that whether or not you're looking for it you're *going* to find it.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the new job! It sounds like an interesting challenge!