- Put children #s 2 and 3 down for nap. Set child #1 up in front of laptop open to page full of math games.
- Listen to child #2 calling from her crib: No nap! Up now! No nap! Up now!
- Remove child #2 from her crib, with promises to play quietly without waking child #3 while Mommy cooks.
- Wonder why you are attempting to extract promises from a one year old when you already know for certain she has no intention of keeping them.
- Drink afternoon coffee (without which no cooking of dinner shall occur).
- Go into kitchen. Dig through fridge. No meat.
- Realize meat has not been thawed.
- Retrieve from freezer; defrost meat in microwave.
- Child #2 will be running in circles -yelling loudly and with great zeal- by this point, while child #3 sleeps next door. Shush her. She won't shush, but it's always worth a shot. (Optimism is important both in life and in the cooking of dinner.)
- Continue digging in fridge. Realize there is no spinach.
- Scavenge kitchen. Find partially rotting zucchini squash, halfway decent yellow squash, green and yellow peppers only slightly beginning to wrinkle and shrivel.
- Good enough. Chop 'em. (Toss rotting parts.)
- Heat meat in pan.
- Add veggies, 3 teaspoons of husband-made taco seasoning, half-cup of water.
- Dig through cupboards. Realize you are out of black beans.
- Continue digging through cupboards until you find a can of refried beans.
- Good enough. Add 'em.
- Child #2 will by now have stripped down to a saggy, baggy diaper, and will still be running in circles, yelling: NAYKEE!
- Wrestle child into bedroom. Change diaper. Re-clothe.
- Attempt to impress upon child the need for quiet.
- Futile. Child will grin winningly and yell at maximum volume in response.
- Return to kitchen to find mexi-slop burning and sticking to bottom of pan.
- Mutter a curse word under your breath. Scrape mexi-slop from bottom of pan (but not too much--best to leave bottom layer of burned mexi-slop as a further-burn-barrier; this has been learned from experience).
- Reduce heat, and cover.
- Child #2 will -of course- hear the muttered curse word, and begin yelling it loudly while running in circles.
- Child #3 will wake up.
- Go get child #3 from crib; change diaper.
- Child #1 -attracted to the sounds of chaos- will close laptop and race to join children #s 2 and 3.
- They will run in circles, yelling loudly (at least the muttered curse has been forgotten)(recall the importance of optimism), until child #3 is retrieved by his mother, arriving to pick him up after work.
- Husband will arrive home from work. He has 2 important steps to complete.
- Make homemade guacamole to transform this dinner from mexi-slop to mexi-slop with delicious guacamole on top.
- The final step is of utmost importance to the success of both the dinner, and the evening.
- Send husband to store for beer.
Friday, November 16, 2012
How To Make Dinner in 33 Easy-ish Steps
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I think I need to bookmark this. :-)
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