Thursday, November 19, 2009

In Which I Solve the Mommy Wars

Original Title:  I Hate My Post from Yesterday, and I'm Not Sure Why.

Oh yeah, cause it's boring.  But I can't figure out what to do to make it any better.  It's a topic I'm interested in: work-life balance.  But reporting on it is just kind of...dry.  Like blogging about blogging.  Which, oh.  Yeah.  Boring.

So let me try a different tactic here, and do something I swore I'd never do as a parent:  Get up on my high horse and tell people they should be doin' what I'm doin'.  
    But hear me out:  We should all be working part-time.  And I don't just mean moms.  I mean Dads.  Grandparents.  Single people.  Teenagers.  Those people who say bearing and raising children is a lifestyle choice similar to skydiving and so they need to leave work early to skydive.  Do those people really exist outside of the Internet?  Whoevs.  We should all be able to work part time, make enough money to live, and have enough time left each day to live and enjoy our lives.  The only people who oughta be working full time are people who really want to work full time.  And they can go on ahead and do what they feel, as far as I'm concerned.  Crazy workaholics.  LazyBones experiences involuntarily shudders at the mere thought of working 40 hours OR MORE per week.  *eye twitch*

    I've been giving this topic a lot of thought, weighing fiscal and family policy options, brushing up on the latest scientific research in the field of work-life balance, discussing things with my girl, Michelle (Obama, of course).  And it's a little out of the box, but I think I've got this problem covered.  So here's my game plan:
    •  Go back in time.
    •  Gather all the second wave feminists, and a bunch of dudes too.
    • Be like:  Hey, instead of having women join the work force full time, how bout' havin' 'em just join part time, and then all you dudes get to go home from work early?  And you chicks got extra time for like, meetin' up, bein' ambitious, and runnin' the world and stuff?
    • What's not to like, eh? Right? RIGHT?  *Noddin' head*  *Big grin*  That's what I'm talking about.   
    • BAM!  Mommy Wars Over!  Somebody pour me a drink.  And since we're still back in the old days, I want to drink it while at work.  Oh yeah.  Just cause I can.  Plus I work with toddlers, and that shit's stressful.  But somebody better stay sober and keep an eye on those crazy babies.  They're faster and smarter than me before I start hittin' the sauce.

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