Thursday, June 3, 2010

One Hundred and Three About Me

1.  I published my hundredth post three posts ago
2.  So I was planning to make it 100 things about me
3.  But then I accidentally didn't notice it until too late
4.  Then forgot about it for 2 more posts
5.  So here I am with 103 about me
6.  And I thought, for some reason, that this would be a super easy thing to do
7.  But already, by 7, I'm kinda tired of it
8.  Okay, so I was born in Niagara Falls, NY
9.  My dad fixed cars for a living
10.  My mom stayed home and raised 6 girls
11.  I was the oldest of the 6
12.  Later my dad became a high school auto mechanics teacher
13.  He really wanted to be an engineer
14.  But he lost out on his free college via the GI bill
15.  Because there were too many kids and he had to work
16.  My mom is a wonderful mother
17.  If I'm even half as good as her, I'll take it
18.  And I think I'm a pretty good mother, so far
19.  I remember being poor as a kid
20.  I think it made a bigger impression on me than my sisters
21.  I remember having to wear hand-me-downs from other kids at school
22.  That sucked
23.  Although now I wear almost exclusively hand-me-downs
24.  So apparently it didn't scar me for life
25.  Unless it did, and that's why I have no fashion sense
26.  I was spanked as a kid
27.  I don't plan to spank my kids
28.  But I don't think it's always child abuse or anything
29.  I was most definitely not an abused child
30.  I'm not a purist or hardliner on almost any issue
31.  And I don't really care what other people do, or think they should do what I do
32.  For example, I breastfed til my son was 17 months old
33.  And would have kept going if the doc hadn't suggested I wean to get pregnant again
34.  But I really don't care in the least if anyone else breastfeeds
35.  Same with circumcision
36.  In a birthday book I read once, it described people born on my birthday as: appears nonjudgemental, but this is due to the fact that this person does not deeply care about the choices of others
37.  Yeah, that pretty much sums it up
38.  I met my husband in college
39.  He was dating someone else when we got together
40.  It was a small town and I felt very judged
41.  Now I wonder if other people were really judging me or if I was judging myself
42.  I'm not sure
43.  Probably a bit of both
44.  I wore makeup after that happened
45.  It was like a suit of armor
46.  That's the only time in my life I've ever consistently worn makeup
47.  My husband is a very hardworking man
48.  I wish he would relax more
49.  Sometimes I feel like the only wife in the world who is always saying:  Don't clean the kitchen!  Just leave the mess and play video games for a while!
50.  I feel like it is my responsibility to help him relax
51.  Even though I recognize the folly of that sentence, and it goes against everything I believe about self-determination, I still believe it to be true
52.  I will continue to try and force him to relax
53.  And I believe I will ultimately succeed
54.  I'm just starting to tell people I'm pregnant
55.  I told my boss
56.  And she said:  Family always comes first.  Let me know if there's anything I can do
57.  That made me feel better about my job
58.  Which I am still struggling with negative feelings about
59.  Although they are slowly getting better
60.  I'm still considering staying home after the second baby is born
61.  But it would be very hard to afford
62.  I just went to Target a few times in the last couple weeks
63.  And started to think about how if I quit my job, I could never go to Target again
64.  Apparently, I work to support Target
65.  Also, we need a new roof
66.  So when we're done paying off the consumer debt we're working on now
67.  We'll need to replace all that debt with a home improvement loan
68.  Which means I'll probably have to continue working
69.  And I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing at this point
70.  Part of wanting to quit is probably just me being pissed at my job
71.  Which is really not a smart reason to quit a great job that I love
72.  I have the opposite of low self esteem
73.  I think I'm better looking than I actually am
74.  I know this is true, because when I see photos of myself, I'm all:  Whaa?  I'm way better looking than that!
75.  Then I just get rid of that photo and go back to imagining myself as way better looking
76.  I'm aware that I do this
77.  But really, why not?
78.  I'd rather choose to enjoy my delusion
79.  I am perfectly content to be ordinary
80.  At some point in my twenties, I realized I would probably not write the Great American Novel
81.  And would, instead, end up a teacher
82.  With a husband and a couple kids
83.  And a house somewhere in the state where I grew up
84.  Just like most of my family
85.  And instead of being a letdown, it seemed totally awesome!
86.  It is pretty much totally awesome
87.  And I think the beautiful thing about life is that all of us perfectly ordinary people: are so extraordinary to each other
88.  My son thinks I'm the best thing since sliced bread
89.  And then someday he'll think I'm lame
90.  And then he'll realize I'm ordinary
91.  But he'll still love me so much it makes no sense
92.  And that's extraordinary
93.  I stay up way too late almost every night
94.  Because I am a night owl, and have been my whole life
95.  And now that I'm pregnant I nap in the afternoons
96.  While my son naps
97.  I just reread this list
98.  And realized that circumcision thing was pretty confusing
99.  We didn't circumcise
100.  But I'm not all judgey about people who do
101.  Although you might want to let your daughter know what to expect
102.  If it ever seems imminent that our children are planning to get it on
103.  I'm just sayin': forewarned is forearmed, when it comes to foreskin.

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